Tuesday, November 30, 2004

hiYo(o.O)

oki back again.. hee'hee.. feeling fine today?? yep yep.. wake up eat then sleep back then wake up again to eat n now can't fall back to sleep so sit here n blog hee'hee.. feeling better today?? yep yep.. today isn't as bad as yesterday n yesterday wasn't as bad as saturday's so as to say i m recovering? dunno.. dun even know wad's wrong with it.. hahaha.. anyway.. yesterday muMther called my chinese sensei.. n told her about my condition.. so as predicted was her answers.. "ur son has internal injury n thus caused blood clots on his chest" wow AMAZING!! tt sensei din even see me.. muMther just told her wad happen to me on the phone n she can say that.. oh wOw.. oki all this while she had been saying i got internal injury on my chest le.. n the naughty naughty me hadn't been taking the chinese pills regularly or to say i hadn't even took it since dunno when.. n argh u know lar.. eng medicine cures sickness chop chop wan.. then chi medicine mar chiam tortoise like tt but they are powderful tho.. hiaz.. then eng med take already also no pain.. wa! tt chi med for internal injury take already will purge all the pain out from the spot where u got internal injury arh!! sia lar.. like tt still got who wanna take.. ask urself if u will still take it if u know tt med will cause unbearable pain..?? hiaz.. but anyway.. i will still go to the cardio spec for checkup still even tho the sensei say it is caused by my internal injury.. but u know how dangerous are blood clots?? hiaz.. so i think i will still go to the cardio.. erm 'cardio'.... right?? yup tell u tho i dun learn med sci.. i can almost know all this term liao arh.. hahaha... eh unwanted BHB.. haha... i hadn't decide when to go yet n erm dunno how much will the whole checkup cost hor.. hiaz.. will be very EX for sure.. tt time dislocation 70++ now heart wan.. just the ECG itself wil cost arnd 30+ liao then still got X-ray.. bla bla blah.. if doc say something really bad then i faint huh also jialat.. worst still if muMther faint together with me huh.. cost fee= x2 leh!! haha..

keke.. anyway just to proudly inform u guys my starhub line had been cut.. yup CUT.. y? coz i m sick of starhub service n decided that they should not receive any $$ from me.. n so the evil hearted me decided to break a minority of their rice bowl so din pay lor.. haha.. stupig ego BHB'ness.. anyway.. just dun try to contact me viz my starhub no. oki.. oh yar i will be using back my singtel no. the old wan if u all still have it.. if not.. it is on my msn nick.. dun be stuPiG enuff to ask for my no. here hor.. i dun wanna be busy over receiving calls from all over the world..

oki today is a tue yep yep tue greenY.. for those working, had a fun day at work? for those in sch, had a interesting day in sch? for those at home, had a good daydream? wOw tell u guys something haha my hair gonna turn all white soon.. haha.. too much daydreamng for me to handle liao hahaha.. thinking about being rich, thinking about being a hero, thinking about being a musician, thinking about being a artist, thinking about being a successful person in life.. thinking about me sleeping the whole day.. wOw.. wonderfully pgGly thoughts of the lazy but hyperaCtive cells in the brains.. haha.. oki tt's wad i m doing during my hols.. eat, sleep, play, think, think, n think, n think... thinking about?? how to strik my first million within my twenties.. HAHA... stupiG..?? nope can be done.. it just depends on opportunities n how u see opportunities.. tell yer i have whole lots of it now... but hiaz.. if a rich guy is in my shoe now he will be a few times richer in 2 to 5 yrs.. work work work.. worked ur whole life to spend ur whole life for working when u dunno y u spend ur whole life on working? well this is because u dun even know in the first place wad are u working for.. anyway.. not gonna talk about tt too much "success is a journey not a destination"

oki the time now is 7:37.. any show on the TV??... erm... hey ruiEn is so chuBbly kaWaii.. sia .. tt tOoT tOoT weng qing hai's char lol.. still need her to confess to him .. if tt epi is acted on me in real life will be wOw.. but tt whole show is so funni... i still dun really like the show's title tho.. hee'hee.. ye man qin jia.. humph kinda copy kitty tho.. sianZ... no originality.. should come out with a better name tho the qin jia really very ye man.. gahhaha.... alrightIe gonna go get my dinner le.. itaDakiMasu.. hahah eat again.. ;p.. hope i grow a little fatter this hols.. hee'hee... sob sob AcChOoooo.. oh shux my nose is running.."hey HEY nose wait up DUN run...!!!" hee'hee ..no idea at all but it came really suddenly as i was writing tt last line.. humph i m feeling sad to say bye bye with my blog again huh!? freaky u!! get the hell lost from here.. stupIg.. hiaz.. erm guess wad one guy fren of mine told me yesterday tt he is becoming moRe giRlY..!! oh NO!!... anyway he is just refering to himself doing shopping for shirts n going window shopping very often/frequently liao.. erm.. hey boi tt's common ok.. n dun try to imply anything.. i was doing window shopping already when i was 18.. n walking around looking for shirts n everything .. erm dun just think tt onli gurls do those kind of stuffs pls.. tho tt guy really seldom does tt in the pass.. but now got gf liao mar.. n being some1 u really love so nan mian u will try to prettify urself too so as not to lose out to other guys out there.. right? in other words also to say tt his gf too pretty liao he feels a threat from other guys out there *like me?* n so he is prettifying himself to get back a sense of security when his gf say "boi, u look handsome today" hOohoO..aren't tt feeling "SHIOK"!?... hahahaHAHA.. tell yer guys somethings tt i heard from my fren, how to make ur gf a permanent resident of urs: "firstly, u will have to earn alot.. y? to feed her isn't it..! n feed her with everything tt she likes to eat, tell her tt she isn't fat n continue feeding her.. y? coz when she gets fat u won't need to worry tt other guys out there will fall for her.. n so taDaa she became exclusively urs.." lol funni? yep but so MEAN of tt person to think of this.. lol.. will u still want her if she really gets fat?? erm tho i know some ppl will.. haha.. oki.. moi bro called n he is on his way home haha.. happy? y?.. coz i m a loner at home by myself now... everyone had went to the pry mtg.. they r praying for the youths today.. so y aren't i there?? erm to stay at home n rest.. so m i restin now? nope... coz i had spent the 3/4 of the day resting n now its time for the vampires to wake up n hunt for food... oh yar.. when was it tt i said itadakimasu n still here!! orgh!!... gonna wait for moi bro come home to have dinner with him liao lar..

oki anyway tt XDA II which i saw $288 was actually an error hahaha.. price now is $600+ or $800+ .. hee hee.. not sure liao.. but anyway.. .........someone has reached home... oh it is my cousin... oki i gonna drop my new hp dream for now liao.. y? coz i gonna settle my bills first, hp can come in next yr.. which model? hopefully N6260..

hahaha.. my girliE guy fren is online.. hee'hee... i have a busy week but i think there are some place where i won't be going.. erm.. going for aunt's wedding rehersal in her ch this sat.. hee'hee wondering how will it be like huh.. but crazly wondering about who is the ban niang... hahaha.. anyway not kinda big deal.. the youths in her ch kinda funni wan.. everyone seems couple couple like tt.. but well who knows if there is.. anyway none of my business too.. yup just kinda funni.. er funni? or maybe their yi ju yi dong seems kinda a naive.. yar i think tt's wad makes me think tt they are kinda funni.. alright.. it is 8pm le.. n moi bro is starving me.. erm should i go get my dinner first? i think so.. i still have got a appointment with ruiEn at 9pm leh..!! *knock knock!!* hee'hee.. oki hope i get fatter before 21 k? erm hope so lar... aimed weight? er heehee' i m sensitive to my own weight.. haha... n i dun like ppl asking about my weights.. esp gals.. coz they will say: "HUH _____kg ONLI ARH!!" -_____-!! yar so..? proven tt all replies are exactly the same just differs in tone........... ......... tt time working in the cafe n early in the morning wasn't feeling right then tt mad dog of the cafe came in early in the morning asking me tt qn.. got me flared up n made me the bao qing tian of tt day.... hahaha.. anyway i kinda miss those days working at secret recipe.. hiaz.. but anyway are good memories to be well kept.. hiaz.. tell yer the onli place where i can meet up with the ppl working at the cafe is in zouk.. hahaha pathetic.. n doubt i will be going to zouk any sooner coz of my heart's condition.. hiaz sry again buddieZ.. dun wanna stress my heart any worst with all those puFFz everywhere n drinks.. kk.. gotto take care of myself.. hee'hee i m being long winded again tonight.. hahaha.. still got wad to say? i think i make a good zi yan zi yu person.. dun i?? hahaha.. oki oki.. i think i gonna stop here if not sure kena ppl say i long winded wan.. hahaha.. but anyway for those ppl who dunno me huh.. i m a very quiet ppl when u see me.. haha.. kk... tt's me.. just dun like to talk too much.. not true when i m with ultimate close frenz.. hahaha.. contradicting?? yep tt's me also.. erm tt's human nature to be contradicting.. haha.. kk.. gonna stop.. really gonna stop.. keke.. buaiz buaiz..

Here I Am @ 11/30/2004 07:06:00 PM

Monday, November 29, 2004

helo(^-^)

alright had been a yr since my last hols.. n now i finally realize tt hols isn't tt fun at all... I M DAMN BORED!! oki trying to look for something to do but sadly can't find any so decided to blog another post... do u still have anything to write!!??... erm.. dunno either.. maybe.. my aunts wedding??

hee'hee yep yep it is 2 weeks from now.. n i m getting so excited.. yep yep.. next sat i will be following my yi fu all the way from the start to the end.. i'll be wearing shirt n tie thru out.. n i'll be walking down the hall of their church also.. ooOoh.. hahaha.. got my coat yest..n there i began trying all my shirts hahaha.. guess wad it is 2 weeks b4 the wedding .. n i have prepared all my shirt le.. a set for the morning till the church then a set for the dinner everything.. hahaha.. n pls allow me to be a little BHB.. for 20yrs, yest nite was the first time i saw myself so SMART with the blazer hahahaha.. wow.. scared i'lll steal the groom's charm..hahaha doubt so.. i think he will be the smartest too for all his yrs living.. wedding is such a grand n perfect day for the perfect match... wOow.. wonder how u wanna look on our very own wedding.. yep.. it will be wonderfully beautifully glamourous..! haha.. *knock knock stop daydreaming le.. find ur perfect match first b4 thinking too far..* ;p keke.. anyway i m getting very excited.. very very excited.. y? coz it is my aunt's wedding, coz it will be a very very fun day, coz i miss my uncle's wedding.. erm i dunno where, why, what, happen leh.. i think i wasn't there thru out.. hee'hee...

oki just finish watching gundam seed destiny epi7 yep yep.. going offline le.. buaiz buaiz..

Here I Am @ 11/29/2004 05:06:00 PM

helo(! - !)

long time din blog liao ani1 miss me?? nar... !! keke.. anyway com was dismantled coz room under renovation works.. then waiting for my new room to be OK.. then can setup the com there.. but anyway.. now i can't days without com.. so using my laptop now.. hee'hee.. oki...

oki.. the past week had been... erm.. ok.. i think erm tt describe it quite well... not too good.. with bad stuff happening..

hiaz.. feeling scared about something.. saturday, 27th of november.. was working n then suddenly felt a mild pain around the chest there.. then the whole chest got numb then whole body felt weak.. then short of breath.. then.. when to take a rest n ... after rest.. everything restarts again the pain the numb the weakness the...... ....... decided to take the day off... n went straight to my uncle's place.. then at nite went to my family doc.. oh shux.. tt was scary doing the ECG .. argh!! but doc says nothing wrong.. everything is fine.. n prob could lies from chest muscles all the way to the large arterary... erm.. oki.. he says tt if the same thing happens again tell me to go straight to A&E.. humph... scary? .... ..... let's hope it is something minor at least no long term medication.. anyway now on medication to relax heart's muscles.. doc says ECG shows tt my heart beats quite fast... erm... "doc, i m nervous n scared at tt time... i think tt's also part of the reason y my heart is beating fast.." hee'hee.. din tell him tho.. but i think he knows hahahaha... coz he asked me "r u nervous" n i replied "YES" who wouldn't be...!! helo DOC, it is prob with the heart leh.. !! dun play play sia.. any person with heart prob go A&E can cut queue wan leh!! hahahaha... .. oki just something to amuse myself from the scary facts tt.. it may be life n death prob.. but.. we won't know wad's coming up.. wad's happening nxt.. so just live life with a smile shouldn't we.. ?? so :D anyway i think i m gonna go to the specialist to checkup soon before i m sent to the A&E.. there is a mild numbness around my chest there now as i m typing this post.. pain this morning when i just woke up.. everything was quite mild.. but i know it is there.. hiaz.. sianz... the scariest thingY is tt u know it is there but u dun know wad is it.. hiaz... so i think i better go for a checkup ba.. at least even if it is something BIG also can be cured early..

oki.. tt's it for tt... anymore updates? erm.. if i still live on to post HAHAHAH.... yup i'll ... so for any updates wait for my nxt post ba.. anyway i'll be fine... erm any1 hoping tt 'll die?? pls let me know kk haha... at least i know who hates me... haha... keke..

humph.. few things happened... a begger come before u starving person, do u pray or do u give? i met two ppl in ch last week which made me thinks very differently about practical!! firslty someone who is willing to help me tho we dun really know each other very well but she is willing to help me other than in prayers.. she s the one i saw who will go to such great depth in helping.. dun wanna elaborate much. but it is not tt prayers isn't powerful.. of coz in helping someone u can't be praying tt may god send some other ppl to help tt person over there.. right?? y not other than praying take a step forward n help the ppl around u.. i have seen too much christians depending too much on prayers but they forgot tt the ppl around them are humans not angels!! of coz prayers is one big thing but ur hands is the wan tt show n acknowledge ur care and willingness to help for tt person.. secondly i met someone who taught me how to live and be successfull.. i find it logical in wad he says.. oki.. tt's the who very diff ppl i see in ch..

oki ... waiting for gundam seed destiny 7 to finish dl now.. hiaz.. ultimate sianz.. kke.. lets stop here le.. buaiz..

Here I Am @ 11/29/2004 02:08:00 PM

Sunday, November 21, 2004

helo( > __ < )

*sory but have bla all this out in my blog.. there is no where for me to turn my crying heart to now*

ARGH.................!!!!! .. i m feeling so heartache so sad.. argh.. my heart is crying again.. y did u left me so easily? if it was me tt u want to be by ur side then y? WHY did u left me so easily?... my heart is so heavily shattered do u know? ARH..!! am i just too tired n thinking too much? i m not sure.. .. .. argh.. .. .. i have too many things to do tonight but i just dunno y i dun feel like doing anything now.. argh.. i can't.. i can't.. i can't help but to know how u r doing, can't control but to know u r ok when u r sick, i can't.. i can't bear thru the days without ur msg'es.. i kept telling myself to be strong. .. but.. .. .. .. i miss u.. .. .. i miss u.. .. .. everytime i felt like crying i held it back, i held it back.. .. knowing there is no point for tears now.. .. i love u.. but u wouldn't know.. .. not now not any longer.. i thought there would be a day when we will learn to face each other again but.. ... when is it? .. ... i really miss u, danica.. ... ............................................. i know u wouldn't want to hear this neither would u like it to come from me.. ................. argh.. i can't cont anymore... my mind just isn't right, my heart is just to hurt.. i can't find any words to describe my feelings now.. .............. i just felt like shouting.. ........... shouting out like nobody's business till my heart is thrown out... .......... why has it gotto to turn out like this? why? ............... ............... had u ever a day u miss me? .... ............... had u ever a day u feel like seeing my msg'es? ... .......... had u every day u will want me to call u to ask if u had ur dinner? ... .......... had u ever a day tt u cried coz i m no longer around u?.... .............. ....................... i love u danica... :'(

Here I Am @ 11/21/2004 08:15:00 PM

Saturday, November 20, 2004

helo(o.o)

oHaYo gozaiMasu.. having my instant UdOnG as breakfast now.. hee'hee.. wad m i doing now?? listening to "the aLbum" again haha.. now playing outKast ~ Roses.. today's another hard day ahead.. gonaa have a relaxing good morning b4 the bZ sat begins.. with firstly svc, then cell, then help out with sound for dunno wad.. concurrently as a photographer.. argh.. so tiring.. but luckily dinner is provided hee'hee.. argh.. i dunno where i place my camera's bagGie.. humph.. sianz.. still no call from the lady boss.. dunno when is my schedule leh.. sianz.. arg.. month's gonna end n shopping list piling up.. !! hahaha..

hee'hee.. other then shopping list still got appointments.. argh dec is gonna be BZ.. buddy chio me go ZoUk.. but erm.. see first lar huh.. tho i m really missing tt place.. but if really can't dig out much $$ then no point going also haha.. sry lar buddY may need to fly u aeroplane.. but tho i really wanna go.. hee'hee dilenma n contradiction.. y is clubBing at zOuK&pHutUrE so nice? the place is big, the crowds the ppl are cOol dudes and pReTtI bAbEs *erm maybe i'll spoil the crowds.. hahaha.. but i ain't tt bad right??*, the winds are cooLing, the drinks.. erm all the same la.. oh shux i miss my burburn *i still dun really know how to spell this word* cOke.. slurp slurpZ.. hee'hee.. n also tequilla short.. shux i really miss this wan.. hee'hee always ends the clubbing nite with this one gulp n a yuM sEng hahahaha it is the nv to be missed drink.. , oki another tt makes clubbing at zOuk&pHuTurE nice is its music.. they play R&B, house, retro, .. bla bla lots more.. erm wanna know more.? haha find it out urself.. erm getting carried away.. oki.. back here at home.. ... ............. hiaz .....................

my shoPping liSt:
1) a pair of duNks
2) a pair of jeans
3) a pants
4) a HP (compulsory) most likely SE K700i but is XDA II really selling at $288 in starhub?
5) shirt, t-shirt
6) cHeeZ caKeZ.. hahaha.. had been so long since i last ate my last cheeZ cake.. oh..
7) alot of ling ling long long stuffZ..
8) another ear pierce? maybe..
9) sweater..
total $$ predicted to be spent: $160 + $70 + $50 + $148 + $60 + $6 + $20 + $5 + $40 = $559

hahaha fulfilling shopping lisT: IMPOSSIBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!! hahahahhaa..... but some sure buys will be dunks n HP... sec aim will be pants n shirts.. the others are Xtraz.. hee'hee..

i think i did something which i shouldn't had done now.. ... i saw tt she was sick on her nick n.. ... erm ... really wanna know if she is ok.. took me quite awhile to decide on msn'ing her.. but once she replied my heart hurts.. i dunno y.. but.. we r chatting now.. n .. i dunno.. my mood had change my heart hurts.. n .. i just wish everything can be reset.. can it?? i knew the ans perfectly.. but i ... .... ..... hiaz... ..... sianz.. ..

argh.. byeZ... ....

Here I Am @ 11/20/2004 10:58:00 AM

Friday, November 19, 2004

helo(^.^)

another post for today..?? yep yup..

just reach home n finish pom pom le a little drenched.. went down to town with susan Jie hee'hee *sorry i was late*.. met cherri n Kk.. then go chitty chatty at ExPlaNade's thai ExPress.. humph .. quite fun hee'hee.. Kk has so much lammIe jokes up his sleeves.. haha.. meat has hierachy?? hee'hee..

now listening to the CD i just bought "1 The Album", Maroon 5 ~ she will be loved
all the songs inside is just so NiCeY... oh shux i LovE it.. i give it 6 star out of 5... haha.. go get it if u like POP.. kk... the second time i pass by HMV then remembered that i forgot to go n take a peep af MakSim's VaRiation I & II.. humph so many nice CDs now.. argh.. anyway view at esplanade was like usual so relaxing so nice.. i juz like to slack there with the winds blowing, the ppl passing by.. i love s'pore for having such a place..

now? being another BAKA online.. doing nothing other than listening to the CD n blogging.. haha.. maybe waiting for some other BAKA to play games with me?? haha.. should i start playing Maple Story?? sounds kinda fun.. hee'hee.. will see about it ba.. if i m really too free..

k ba today ends here.. nitez nitez nitez..

Here I Am @ 11/19/2004 11:20:00 PM

helo(o.o)

did a quiz early in the morning..


You are 87% Libra







tt is how much of libran i m..
now listening to huang yida ~ xi huan ni
都不必多说 属于我的私密的快乐 喜欢你陪着我
我不算甚么 不是那个甚么的甚么 可是你认可我是我
注定的转折 或许是巧合
你看透倔强的壳 发现里面最柔软的我
眼前的一切 不再是钢铁
不是我寄居的壳 而是因你发亮的世界
喜欢你 喜欢你 有一种最合身的舒适
喜欢你 喜欢我 青色的甜蜜
喜欢你 喜欢你 美丽得像错误的美丽
喜欢你 喜欢我 奢侈的真实
this morning woke up and was darn lazy to get out of my sweet bed juz help him changes a new bedsheet was so nice.. anyway drag myself out of bed anyway.. argh then my mum took out her homemade kimChi early in the morning ... argh i hate tt smell!!!.... stenched the whole house with it n i almost suffocated to death.. -_-" okie.. then went with her to her workplace thought of renting Troy's VCD but who will help me return it tml?? so din rent it n came home doing nothing facing the com like a BAKA!!
yest went down to sch to hand in my report i din hand it n was detained by my SUP..! hiaz.. juz dunno y n how come the src code tt i backup wasn't working n i had to stay in that lab the whole day trying to solve the error... argh.. there goes my day my sup still say wanna pull my grade down.. -_-! ... anyway .. manage to solve in quite awhile n went to play pool with beng yong n xuanYi.. haha fancy mtg them in tt lab yest.. haha.. eh!! "wai tao tuo diao tuo diao... tuo tuo tuo " hahaha.. it is playing tuo diao now.. ;p oki i always put my playlist to shuffle so some songs tt i have is seldom played.. hee'hee i kinda love this song.. ;p "this ain't about SEX ah ah , its about LOVE" haha.. quite a lame of the lyrics.. erm thought of going to get my left ear pierced again.. but then too tired le so went straight home.. eh.. guess wad??!! a jap guy msg me in friendster he said tt he likes touring n collects sovenirs from all over the world.. n he asked if i would like to design a sticker of singapore's culture.. haha.. no $$ involve.. but kinda interesting so i agreed.. erm he says graphic design but i saw in his webbie tt he accepts hand drawn too.. i think i m gonna hand draw it.. hee'hee hope my skills hasn't went down the drain.. anyway.where are my brushes??!! keke.. sianz.. wad should i get for lunch today?? maybe not eating.. eh i wanna get a CD... the ONE... erm isit?? dunno lar got Keane, Hoobastank, Avril, n many more wan.. humph.. sianz sianz sianz... moi uncle booked me down for nxt wednesday le.. hee'hee will help out with setting up drum mikings for the main hall... will be quite cool huh.. haha..
oki.. i think tt's all i have for now.. still having my tremendous mood swings.. hiaz.. yest my cousin was asking how come i look not bothered about the matter with danica..?? i din reply either..day b4 he asked if i cried.. haha i replied with a 'no' .. my tears they juz dunno how to come out from the heart... how would i not be bothered how would i not be crying? juz tt.. i din show it out n i dun wanna think about it.. .... very sianz sianz.. everyone was asking me wad happen.. n i din gave any replys.. sry but i juz dun wanna talk about it..
am i escaping or am i juz putting up a strong front??
i dunno... ..... maybe i juz wanna forget everything.. .. ..
the nxt person to ask me this qn will be my aunt if she sees me this weekend.. hiaz..
wad am i feeling now? i dunno... .. ... my mood changed again.. argh.. *SHRUGzZ it off my mind..*
oki shall not ponder over any thoughts of her.. haha.. i think i m escaping.. coz i hadn't open my msg inbox this few days.. i m scared of seeing a list of her names in my msg inbox.. i m scared of remembering the msg we used to sent to each other.. yup maybe i m juz escaping.. escaping coz it gives me a sense of hurts.. *ShRugZ sHruGz* *bang my head on the table.. * kk... wake up.. hee'hee..
:D smile to me my frenZ whenever i see yer.. alot of smileZ shall be shared even tho the heart is crying.
~ rAy
byez..byez... .. gonna hunt for something to eat.. choCz?? maybe..

Here I Am @ 11/19/2004 11:25:00 AM

Thursday, November 18, 2004

helo(-___-)*

phEw.... juz finish my FYP report and the AES.. hee'hee hangs a bright smile over my face..!! (^-^) hee'hee...

today? 18th November 9:55Am thursday..
... i dunno wad to blog yet.. juz happy about finishing my report tt's all..
oh yar.... ..... erm nvm about tt.. not something to talk about either.. hiaz...
thanx for those who gave me encouragement these few days thanx all of u... dun worry u will still see me smile when i get to see anyone of u... SMILEZ alotz with frenz.. tt's wad i like.. to be able to smile when being with frenz hee'hee :D

oki gonna get ready to go sch now.. mtg sistar n andre for lunch.. hee'hee.. tt's end of my p6 oh yar was told tt results will be out on the 25th ... arh... scary.. i think i would get D for fyp?? maybe.. B for attachment?? oki.. tt was my predicted results.. anything better than tt halelujah.. haha.. kk.. gonna stop here...

~ gRAY's feelings ~
- Broken hearted...
- hungry
- tired
- happy for report completion

tell yer something i m having PMS (Permanent Mood Swing) recently.. *eh learnt tt from mindy's sister, lindy.. haha kinda crazy funni gal like her sis.... haha... nice person to chat with tho..haha* so my mood tend to change a 270deg without warning and at a very fast speed.. so beware...erm.. yup tt's all.. anyway i m feeling ok now.. planning for afternoon's activity..

byez..... ......

Here I Am @ 11/18/2004 09:41:00 AM

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

helo(-.....-)

16th November tuesday, 10am

~ The End ~
everything that has a beginning has an end
everything that starts will finish
everything that lives will die
the end, something that has reach its terminal
a cruise has to dock at its harbour
a plane has to land at its airport
a love have to be broken
when dawn breaks dusks awaits
when u say goodbye i wait for ur hello round the corner of the street,
the street where tears will dry
sadness find its home
broken heart will finds its shelter.. .. ..
but will u turn up?

i will never believe in eternal nor do i believe in love......

it was this morning that all has come to an end.. this love, i was thinking shouldn't have start.. hiaz.. i do think tt if we get together we will be worst nothing will change even if we get together.. but the end of this love was the lack of security in me.. n fear in her.. i dunno wad to say either.. i m scared of loving.. but much more to my delight.. my heart was prepared for the ending.. it wasn't tt hurt tho.. mm..... it really hurts alot.............

"i will not cry coz it doesn't worth my tears,
it will not shatter my dreams coz my life carries on..
but i will leave a piece of my heart for u, where u stays.."

~ a new beginning ~
an end marks a new beginning
where does my end leads to?
where n how should i start?
..........

ok let this post ends here.. finding a gurl that won't break ur heart is it really that hard? finding one tt will love u n hold u in her arms to shelter u from harms to the heart is it that hard? .......................................................................... ...................... byez

Here I Am @ 11/16/2004 09:56:00 AM

Saturday, November 13, 2004

helo( -____- )

today? 13th November Saturday 9:47am

having my brunch now.. ....

so early??

yar.. i dun like to eat then carry on with work.. i like to sleep after eating.. ....

how was work yest??

tiring.. i m getting very sick of tt place so full of china gals..

argh am i racist??

YES OF COZ i m.... s'pore gonna be overpopulated with them soon....

..... argh ok dun talk about those stuff..........

felt rather wierd today.. seem to have pick up all the lost strength.. so soon??.. i m not sure... i m scared but i still wanna love her.. am i being stupid..? alright i m a idiot looking for troubles for myself or rather i m doing a suicidal love.. hiaz... but can anyone understand? anyway i dunnid someone to understand.. contradicting right.. so wad if there is someone out there who understand? makes no diff... would this be another fall?? i trusted her too easily din i? argh... can't think of wad to do anyway..whenever i close my eyes i fall asleep.. haha".. i would think of her..think of the things we would do together.. think of the place we would go together.. think of the love i would sacrifice for her.. think of the many wonderful memories we would share.. think of.....argh!!!!!!! *BANG my head on the table... blood rushing down my forehead...* ( -! __ '!!)

i m going to be late for work again today.. im holding myself from getting out of that place with the price reward of SE K700i... haha.. the thought of tt makes me wanna work more..

alright i m really late..
byez..
i love u, .. ..... .....

Here I Am @ 11/13/2004 09:47:00 AM

Friday, November 12, 2004

helo( -____- )

wo gai xiang xing ni huan wo de zhe ge an quan di dai ma?

wo cui ruo de xin zai ge xing de gan qing li xu yao bao hu ke shi.....

wo hao xi wang ni nen liao jie wo shi duo me de zai hu ni....

wo xu yao ni gei de an quan gan.........

wo bu zhi dao....... xin hao luan...... ye hao pa.........

ke shi wo hai hen ai ni...............

12th Novermber friday... 8:46am

i m awake early....

.................i dun feel like talking.............................. ...............

byez................ ...................

Here I Am @ 11/12/2004 08:33:00 AM

Thursday, November 11, 2004

helo( 'i ___ 'i )

thrusday, 11th of November, 8:50am

today is a public holiday........

today is my first day at work.......

just recevive the call from my fren yesterday......

i am feeling alright today........

sad?

not sure.......... maybe it is still there n i m numb to it.......

my heart feels naked........

forgotten its armour? .........

i am putting it on now........

tired?

nope tho kept waking up yest nite but sure managed to get enough sleep.........

gonna get ur breakfast..?

erm...... maybe the apettite isn't there.........

wad makes u happy now.....?

hee"hee... the price of Sony Ericsson K700i dropped to $298

ha.......ha.........

i am getting a phobia of gurls......

my brain and heart din function properly again.........

in fact i forgot how to give a sincere smile.............. .....................

sory kian yong went out with u yest but was expressionless.................

thanz for being there............. i really appreciate it..................

went to the arcade again yest...............

wind it out...........?

yes, a little on the time crisis 2 machine............ completed tt game..... 8th on the chart

then went to play pool..................

wad time is work today.......?

11...... mtg xueling 1030 at the mrt station ......................

had i grown strong?

my tears they dunno how to drop?............................

byez........... .......................

Here I Am @ 11/11/2004 08:48:00 AM

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

hihi( 'i ____ 'i )..

sad

CAUTION! THE FOLLOWING PARAGRAPHS BELOW IS TESTED AND VERIFIED TO HAVE CONTAINED A VIRUS CODE NAMED: #9872AD8HJ. THIS VIRUS IS CONTAGIOUS IT IS PASS THROUGH THE THOUGHTS OF THE AUTHOR INTO THE WORDS HE TYPED AND TO WHOEVER READS IT WILL CONTRACT PERMANENT HEAD DAMAGE(PHD) JUST LIKE THE AUTHOR.

DISCLAIMER: THE AUTHOR OF THIS BLOG WILL HOLD NO RESPONSIBILITY FOR ANY INJURIES TO THE READER IF HE/SHE CHOOSE TO CONTINUE READING!

FROM: rAy

~ curse of the loneli ~
"the curse of the loneli never seems to leave my heart,
wounded in the battles to win a heart,
stood up just to be hurt again,
for never had i given up,
am i stupid?
am i an idiot?
yes, indeed i am.. .. ..
who was never stupid in doing things for the one they love
who had never been hurt much for the one they love
who had not tried to hold on a love that was going to fall
who then will understand my heart that needs to be love?
loneli, u stayed in my heart since i forgot when..
each time i learn to love more i fall deeper n harder..
each time i want to give up u put someone there as if she was meant to be..
each time i fell into the same trap set up by u, loneli..
and now i m tired..
tired, To exhaust the interest or patience..
tt's tired.. to be feeling fatigue.. and yes i am.." can i climb up again?

ever heard of the story about a boy who went searching for a rainbow?

in the midst of a growing city a boy was borned into a family, not known to him was the sadness that will follow his birth. he never knew who his parents was till he was 7, bought up by his grandparents living a life of solitude he wants his rainbow. on the day he was awaken by the truth of this world he ran on a journey towards his rainbow.. he searched deep into everywhere a rainbow could hide and all he gets was dissapointment. he took the courage to look for it in the wilderness of the dark, he look for angels to tell him the whereabouts of the rainbow, he stepped into people hearts to ask "where is my rainbow?" he ran into the dark cave away from people to find the rainbow in himself.. and there in the cave he cried and no one was there..

years passed by this boy grew strong, he left the cave again to the place where he once called home, it was torn apart. and home was no longer there to lend him a hand in his search for his rainbow. none the less this boy stand on his own feet, he knows that one day he will find his rainbow.. well, he carried on with his journey, he walked through the faces of earth. he seen good and bad. he seen truth and fake. he seen the hearts of many. but not a sight of his own rainbow and he was back in this cave where he cried years ago. at that very moment he broke down, "why?" he asked. "why? and why?" he asked. "is there no one who can tell me how to find this rainbow of mine?" ... "everyone, people around me are filled with people to care for them, shoulders to lean on, and someone to dry their tears but, where is mine when i needed one?" ... " i tried as hard as they did, i did all i could, but just to be left outside alone?" ... tears gathered around his eyes as he stepped out of the cave, the warmth of the sun hugs him, sun light shone on him.. and came a soft voice from afar "mama, look mama a rainbow..!" .. and he smiled.. that rainbow was from his tears..

rainbow, An arc of spectral colors, that appears in the sky opposite the sun as a result of the refractive dispersion of sunlight. this boy turns 20 this year, and he carrys with him euphoria charms bringing with him joys to everyone and hurts to himself.. a rainbow is not meant for ourself it is to be shared through our own tears that others may smile.. don't go hunting for a rainbow it is nothing but a drop of water, share the rainbow it means much more to see a person smile.

tt's it..... ......
i dun know wad will tomorrow be like, i dunno how long will i live, but i will remember the faces of those who smiled with me, and those who had bought laughters to me..

another long blog huh? .... it is the hols now still another sem to go and i m done with studies.. hiaz..

raytopia: how's life?
rayEuphoria: sianz very sianz recently..
raytopia: how come?
rayEuphoria: argh.. dun ask me i dun wanna say it either..
raytopia: dun ask u!!?? lots more ppl out there will ask u the same qn..!
rayEuphoria: yar i know.. i dun intend to say anything either.. thought of going clubbing but no kaki.. sianz.. i wanna drink alot..!! i wanna the winds to blow on my face blow all troubles away.. i wanna tired myself out so that i can't think of anything and all that i could hear was my breathing, i am still alive..
raytopia: humph.. u r a crazy freako!

FREAKY?? ha.. juz something entertain myself during blogging.. there are so many qn to ans everyday so many thoughts to think about.. to say something logical the brain is the most powerful processor.. alright the time now is 12:10pm of November 10.. humph very sianz.. i wanna go out but where to? with who? humph.. somewhere to bang my head on.. hey hey.. i still got the stress reduction kit with me hahaha.. anybody wants it?? anyway.. listening to F.I.R - liu lang zhe zhi ge.. alright.. too much of rubbish blabbering le.. *hit myself on the head* BanG BanG..!!

hee'hee the time now is 12:15 of November 10.. alright gonna declare i, Ng Jun Yit Raymond hereby declare myself as a lone wolf.. erm i think i had always been one.. argh..!! ;p oki going a lill crazy here.. hee'hee..

alright.. gonna stop blogging here if not i may get more curiousity hunters who read my blogs up till here, KILLED!! hee'hee.. alright.. buaiz.. buaiz..

rAy's feeling:
- broken hearted (will top the feeling list for the subsequent weeks n months*)
- disappointed
- lonely
- sianZation
- bored (gonna catch some spiders soon*)
- hungry (erm.. nope really*)
- sick (a little onli lar*)

Here I Am @ 11/10/2004 10:14:00 AM

[[ I Am ]]

Name: raymond ng
Bdae: 27th september

[[ My Adores ]]

music: any genre of music except metallic
stuff: any creative and imaginative things will catch my eyes

[[ My Past Memories ]]

-01/01/2004 - 02/01/2004
-02/01/2004 - 03/01/2004
-03/01/2004 - 04/01/2004
-04/01/2004 - 05/01/2004
-05/01/2004 - 06/01/2004
-06/01/2004 - 07/01/2004
-07/01/2004 - 08/01/2004
-08/01/2004 - 09/01/2004
-09/01/2004 - 10/01/2004
-10/01/2004 - 11/01/2004
-11/01/2004 - 12/01/2004
-12/01/2004 - 01/01/2005
-01/01/2005 - 02/01/2005
-02/01/2005 - 03/01/2005
-03/01/2005 - 04/01/2005
-05/01/2005 - 06/01/2005
-06/01/2005 - 07/01/2005
-07/01/2005 - 08/01/2005
-08/01/2005 - 09/01/2005
-09/01/2005 - 10/01/2005
-10/01/2005 - 11/01/2005
-11/01/2005 - 12/01/2005
-12/01/2005 - 01/01/2006
-02/01/2006 - 03/01/2006
-03/01/2006 - 04/01/2006
-08/01/2006 - 09/01/2006

[[ The Conversations ]]

[[ My Friends ]]

| andre| tianfu| weiwen| mindy|
| firmanis| rica| charles| yan|
| joelle| ian| charmaine| weiliang|
| von| shumin| cheryn| de ren|
| ivy| susanOng| thomas| jack|
| phoebe| shanShan| rayMonD & gRacE| rymers' |

[[ Credits ]]

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