my own piece of mind

Saturday, August 27, 2005

helo(-___-)

~ picking up the pieces ~
what can i do?
what can i say?
to hide myself from your shadows
to stay away from all the streets you will pass
but still my heart wanders to where you are.
a love i never thought would turn this way
a heart that i gave and thought it will not be broken
a girl i love and thought she is the one
but all this shatters.
your love was once beautiful
your love was once sweet
you made me realize my dreams
you made me learnt about life
but when we were to fly beyond the clouds
we fell.
fearful i am now in facing relationships
fearful i am now for my strength is gone
seeking just a room to myself where i can hide
can i?
searching for the security that was once in me but
where is it now?
i want to hide but
where?
i want to run but
where?
i don't know
i don't even know if i could forget you,
i don't even know if i could ever accept you again,
for this heart you broke so deeply.
maybe,
maybe one day all this will pass by
maybe one day we would be walking towards our own paradise
away from all this hurts
away from all this sorrows
maybe we will never have to wake up again to face all this hurts
maybe we would just fly and never touches the ground.

Here I Am @ 8/27/2005 10:33:00 AM

Friday, August 19, 2005

helo(o.o)

argh wad a night.. just finish with most of my stuff after booking out from camp.. humph the lousiest mood is tt tml morning still have to book in again.. hiaz..

humph was looking through my calender just now.. hiaz so many stuff had happened within a month and they are still so fresh in my mind.. stuff from 2004 up to this point of time.. humph.. looking back through this blog would surely bring back more memories i guess.. n most of them surely not something which i wanna remind myself of..

anyway this week is sure a darn tired week.. lots of footdrills training.. argh shitty stuff.. humph lets talk about the exciting stuff in this week ba.. ermm the most FUN stuff is the CA-Chemical Agent.. humph yup yup tt's the stuff where u enter a room of poison gas with gas mask n a full protection suit.. hee'hee it is a once in a life time thingy yer know.. nah nah.. they are not using the real poison gas like sarin but they are using a gas which will make u tear n lucas starts flowing, saliva comes drooling.. haha.. i was the 2nd batch to enter so got the great chance to see my fella platoon guyz all crying n drooling first hahahahahaha.. evilish of me? :p hee'hee.. but anyway it was my turn sooner.. humph had to start of with PT exercises in tt heavy suit.. OH breathing is surely a BIG prob!! but anyway i manage to regulate my breathing n everything goes well haha then the great time arrives one by one we have to go infront n our sergeant will hold us n take off our gas mask..!!!! doinks!! yep he will take off our gas mask tt's when the real irritation from the gases will come..oh it feels like putting a handful of wasabi into ur mouth.! oh tt burning sensations races at 100km/sec up my head..!! i got choke but humph not much tears n lucas drooling.. but the face is really red!! hee'hee will upload those pic soon..!! was really cool.. hee'hee as the naughty platton I/C i urged my platoon to run through the room another time haha.. this time without any protection at all.. haha.. should grab hold of the opportunity since it is once in a lifetime thingy right..!!!

alright.. CA is exciting.. but humph this week is really bad for me i guess.. humph my temper is really getting from bad to worst.. dunno isit my emotional? humph really unsure.. but really bad had been in quite a bad mood n throwing my temper to most of my platoon guys.. hiaz.. sianz.. but god is really wonderful to me i guess.. he made my relationship with my platoon guys recoveres quite fast.. thank GOD..! argh being a platoon i/c is really a stressfull stuff..!

...hmm... kinda tired now.. should go get some slp le tml still gotta wake up early.. nitez

Here I Am @ 8/19/2005 10:41:00 PM