my own piece of mind

Sunday, December 25, 2005

helo(O.o)

OpPs my NeGLecTeD blog.....

ZoooOOOm......sWhhHHiiiiIIIISssh...... 10.....9.....8......7.....6.....5.....4.....3..... 2005 will be coming to an end soon again... hiaz... how fast could a year past? with a blink of an eye..!

sure enough alot had happened this year... lots of joy, lots of disappointments, lots of experience with God, lots of fear, lots of tears, & lots of thanksgiving... let's list 'em down?

Thanksgiving
- Thankful for God's leading in my final year of studies in Poly. though it had been ultimate stressful especially when nearing the deadline for project submissions n exams... but still managed to submit all the projects on time.. even tho had to do most of the proj on my own coz of proj partners who got debarred n partners who does nothing... but still God had not left me, he given me more knowledge to solve the programming errors and encouraging frenz around me to help me with all the projects and to teach me during the exams and even more the joy of the accompany of these frenz.. thanks for the results too! it is better than than any of the previous sem despite the tough time...

- Thankful for He is the God who provides for all my needs. during my last sem of studies i do not had to worry about my financial.. all was provided for and there was no delay... Thanks to those who had blessed me financially... may God bless u abundantly for the love you had shown to His son.

- Thankful for how God had blessed me with work. after graduating it had been a hard-time looking for job and also restricted by my enlistment i only have around 3-4 months before turning 'botak' so am rejected by numerous company, but still God's blessing are overflowing, Church's BASC had a vacant slot needed to be filled n there i am for the rest of my time till enlistment.. the experience working with childrens are great.. tho instead of training my patience i lose my patience faster than before ... :D

- Thankful for God's enlightenment about relationship. it had been a rough walk and a tough lesson learnt.... well maybe all this while had been searching n searching for someone to love me, but to no avail, i fell n fell everytime but still picked myself up again n searched again.... n fell again.... when we asked God for what we really wanted, God, out of love gave it to us... n well got into my 1st relationship on 13th of April, it was sweet and all words tt could describe LOVE... both of us tried hard to make our relationship work out well and also to be a God-centered relationship.. well all this din last... exactly 4 months later both of us broke up... out of Love God given me what i desired most but His heart desires me to seek him more than my worldly desires, he prompted both of us through a verse in the scripture that is Matt 6:33 "seek first his kingdom and righteousness and all these shall be given onto you" this verse kept appearing in both our life and spurred us to ponder over it... during June our church held a camp at Sentosa n the theme for the camp runs round BGR... after the camp both of us sat down to talk over our relationship n decided to slows down to know each other better.. n months later both our lives took a sharp turn she started her school term at ACCA and i got enlisted into army... communication breakdown surfaced... we seldom meet up n due to tiredness we dun talk on the phone.... committment level drops.... and that's where everything ends...... the ending? yup, could a relationship work well without commitment? i don't believe it... we sat down at our usual spot, tt's under her block ... till 1Am .... it ends with a soft 'goodbye' ....... sad? yes very.... angry? yes... Lost? yes.... depressed? yes... but still God gives hope to those who believes in him... everytime when i feel depressed, be it in camp or at night when memories flows into me, He never gives me another second to be in tears but immediately put his promises into me n granted me hope for tomorrow... God subtitutes himself for what i had lost... i began to realized that i m actually not ready for a relationship and that i shouldn't commit into a realtionship now and also learnt alot about Love n faith.. i m Thankful for how he bought me out of my darkest valley n protected me through out all these times... n knowing by faith that he will prepare the best for me.. "if both of us are really made for each other, till the day when we get back together, i believe by then we will know how to love each other more."

- Thankful for His protection during my NS. although i m excused on the upper limbs which means i do not need to do push ups but on the very first time my platoon got punishes i did not think much but did it anyway... reckless..? yup ... but give thanks to the Lord tt i did not dislocate my arms even when i reach my limits or even to push myself further..

- Thankful for His blessings during my NS. was blessed so abundantly in the many ways in which i can learn things about life n even to lead my man... though i had my temper out of control but i did not make enemies.. phew thankful about this ... and a reminder for myself..!

- Thankful for He lays a table before my enemies and I. when i was posted to my div days became BUSY for me and had to burnt up alot of weekends in camp or events... there was this incident when one of my colleagues actually called me on my day-off to tell me tt i m to be the casualty for one of the event on a sunday.. n he actually claimed tt he is calling from the pers dept, tt day was really terrible coz tt week was the only week which i could rest over the weekend n now i had it burnt? the nxt monday i was praying on my way to work hoping tt God would let miracles happen? n tt i would be taken off the casualty list.. while i reach office the guy whom i had been prayerfully wanted to meet pops up in front of me... another good guy by the good name Raymond... he appeared in front of me n i asked if he could take my name of the casualty list... and after a long conversation about me not having willingly changed with any other casualties ... it revealed the big plot which my dept mate had done on me... humph Raymond sent another e-mail to the whole div officers regarding the casualty list n with my colleague's name on it instead of mine.. Thank You Lord as i could have my weekend rest!

- ThankYou Lord for u Love my DAD... maybe this is the greatest Gift i could have received this year. 5 years, he had left that door and never returned, he just told me to 'take good care of mum'. this year early dec i finally took the courage to pray that i wanted him to be in the midst of us worshipping God. i have the courage but lacks in faith, it soons flows away with each passing day. on the 20th of dec at our ch prayer meet, while we were all praying for our family, my mind went blank of prayer, and i saw hand stretches out to hold my hand, n lead me to walk forward, i asked " where r u bringing me to?" and tt fig replied "Come, i want to show you my Kingdom." we walked pass a door and inside it i saw my Dad in the arms of my Lord Christ Jesus... 5 years ago when i first stepped into church my only wish then was to see my whole family worshipping our Father in Heaven.. the day after tt prayer mtg i was doing my standby duty in camp, that vision dawns upon me again, i took out my hp n composed a msg to meet up with my dad, after much thoughts i finally sent it. well he didn't reply... humph maybe was of my weak faith, i didn't really have the faith to believe that he will see me or reply my msg.. few days later, a sat morning as i was on my way to church my hp rang.. i answered and a familliar voice ran through my ear.. it surprised me, his voice feels my heart with warmness.. tho he said tt he can't meet me on the 26th which was his b'day but he would wanna meet me on another day.. i was really glad to hear tt.. we shared words of concern with each other n ends the call.. i m filled with joy, because of the concern i heard from him which tells me tt he still cares, because of how much the Lord loves him.. n much more the faith tt was strengthen in me.. i know tho whether or not he would receive Christ from me is not up to me but i do know that forgiving him is the first step to bring the message of Love into him.. the only Law that we lived on is "to Love your neighbours" neighbours = everyone around you, Love = "Love is patient, Love is Kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trust, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. ... " 1 Cor 13:4-8

Here I Am @ 12/25/2005 07:47:00 PM