my own piece of mind

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

helo(^ ^)

oh my neglected blog.. anyway hunks, babes, guys and gurls! catch my updates on my msn space.

Here I Am @ 8/15/2006 01:09:00 PM

Friday, March 03, 2006

helo(-_____-)"

好累啊！今天又发了一大肚子的火。。 hiaz.. 昨天也一样，就因为有一个senior什么东西都bao ga liao就快把我们三个都忙死了。。难道一点小事也许要我们去做吗？hiaz.. 那些M-人也是的啦！就当我们想相信他们能做些事的时候他们竟然让我们大大的失望！那失望也就在今天的那一大肚子的火里烧起了。。

我真的好想褫职不干了！。。hiaz。。如果真的可以tender resignation而且会被approve的话我将会是第一个！

好啦。。！不要再谈那些不愉快的东西了。。。hey！刚才吃饭的时候正在看吴忠宪的节目。。ARGH..!!在那“我猜”的单元里就要猜谁是国中男孩心里最爱的少女系男生。。ｏｈ　ｍｙ．．！他们不是说少女系男生吗？那些出场的简直就是ＧＡＹ吗！！第一和第三好事最恶心的了。可是过他们真的是女生的话还真的会把我给迷死。。！哈哈哈。。第一号跳了蔡义林的舞。。ｈｕｍｐｈ。。差一点就害我把晚餐都吐完出来了。。好恶心啊！！ｈｍｍｍ。。我认为少女系的男生不应该是那么地ｂｒｏｋｅｎ　ｗｒｉｓｔｅｄ的吧！少女系的男生可能就是那些很细的男生，很ｓｅｎｓｉｔｉｖｅ的男生，爱打扮的男生，或是比正常男人跟ｅｍｏｔｉｏｎａｌ的男生。绝对是一位完全了解女人的男人那不是有女系的男生吗？ｈｍｍｍ可是节目里的根本就是查不多就要变性的男生啊！那算是什么少女系男孩啊？ｂｕｔ　ｔｈｅｎ四号出场的是后真的是笑到我翻ａｈ。。哈哈哈哈！他真的好象麦当劳叔叔ｅｈ。。哈哈哈。。！ｏｐｐｓ　ｓｏ　ｂａｄ　ｔｏ　ｂｅ　ｔｅａｓｉｎｇ　ａｔ　ｏｔｈｅｒ　ｐｅｏｐｌｅ．．哈哈哈．．ｂｕｔ　ｉ　ｊｕｓｔ　ｃａｎ＇ｔｈｅｌｐ　ｍｙｓｅｌｆ．．　＝Ｐ

明天将会去打ｂａｄｍｉｎｔｏｎ哦！可是只有那几只老鼠要打而已。。ｐａｔｈｅｔｉｃ。。人都不运动了吗？哈哈太过的ｇｅｎｅｒａｌｉｓｅｄ了吧ｈｍｍ？ｍａｙｂｅ就是我认识的都变懒惰了。。！哈哈。。ｈｅｙ。。其实发现我自己也ｗｅａｋ了好多ｅｈ。。ｈｍｍ所以要多点的ｗｏｒｋｏｕｔ! hey so come on everybody put on ur track shoes and hit the field..!哈哈

在这几天的忙碌里，脑子也不停地在旋转。。想了好多东西。。就用下面的寺说出我的心思吧！

~ 孤单 ~
孤单，
不知从何时起你就伴随着我
把我的欢笑给夺去
将眼泪放进我心里

孤单，
你就像我的影子踢也踢不走
率也率不掉
在夜深的黑暗里你跟显得突出
在心里的彷徨无助有谁能理解？
在心里的悲伤又有谁能体会呢？

oh my我第一次用华文写的post eh..哈哈a pat on my own shoulder.. =p 好吧。。是时候睡觉了。。晚安！

Here I Am @ 3/03/2006 10:01:00 PM

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

helo(o.O）

agrh..! 好累啊！！在HQ里过情人节还不错的哦至少不会见到满街的情吕..!hiaz可是竟然miss掉了韩国牧师在更新的祷告会。wad a miss... hmm...

这个来领的礼拜六是我们的cell group outing哦！好兴奋。。但是我又得report camp。。又还不晓得会及点才完。真纳闷。。

alright after writing those paragraphs in chinese i figure out tt it will take me a day's time to finish one post..! hee'hee..! alright.. happy belated valentine's to all my dearest frenz.. hope all of u had a magical time spent with your loved ones.. alright.. =)

hahaha... was watching King Kong in camp yest.. haha... a nice and interesting show.. just can't help but relating it to the story "Beauty and the Beast" a gigantic beast with a strong feeling of love..! protecting her from all harms, running through the ends of the earth just to be with her? oh my... a rather touching story.. but just too bad King Kong didn't turned into a charming prince like it happened to the beast... nor did his kingdom didn't turned into glamourous palace..!

hiaz.. yest nite wasn't a peaceful nite at all... was woke up by suicidal incident last nite... hiaz.. and there went the officr nagging his way through the night... hiaz...

alright somethings which makes me ponder, what do we think of these words "ex-girlfriend", "ex-boyfriend"&"ex-lover"? if the relationship was over then why can't we just use "friends"? instead of all this ex-bla bla bla...? wouldn't "friends" be a more meaningful words than having ex-bla bla bla? "friends" would mean tt we had moved on from the previous relationships tho one may still hold a candle of hope for that relationship.. but for the time being it will just be a pure friendship isn't it? "ex-___" is like a key to our memory banks, after saying it, memories of being with him or her will be flushed out from tt bank. "ex-___" would also caused a judgement & comparison in our present relationship with pass relationship.. thus causing jealousy in our partner... are people using "ex-___" to feel that they are accommodated into this world as they had been in a relationship before?...

Here I Am @ 2/15/2006 04:03:00 PM

Friday, February 10, 2006

helo(o.O)

alright bhangla is back at home..!

bhangla's bhangla was very angry today... hiaz... some of my seniors got on my nerves today... y can't they be more efficient n stop being tipsy winky over some little stuffs? hiaz...

alright anyway bhangla is going over to senggarang tml for a good chill off time with god.. days had been so tiring n finally it is a time to join hands with god for a victorious battle...

humph bhangla receive no pay slip today... wonder when will bhangla's pay get through n how much will i receive... argh my pockets went empty today... left in my posessions are some rupiahs n ringgits.. wahahaha... even my eZ-link spells a negative value..! hahaha.. alright my pathetic bhangla pay better get through soon .. if not "bhangla no money bhangla no food, if bhangla no food bhangla no energy, if bhangla no energy bhangla no work..!" then the world will witness the extinction of the exploited bhangla's bhangla..!

Here I Am @ 2/10/2006 06:41:00 PM

Thursday, February 09, 2006

helo(o.O)

opps was tt previous blog finished?? hmmm had it drafted in my blog for donkey years....

alright nothing to do now in the middle of the night n thought of putting something up on my neglected blog... hiaz... come to think of it there are still spammers stalking around here!...

well life's getting busy... too busy for everything other than doing something which i m to do.... phew luckily had my committments planned out early of the year if not will sure to be exhausted...

well so how's yer day?

hmmmm.... ever felt tt you are the only exploited bhangla left in this world? well this is wad i feel today..! to find myself rushing around the 8 storeys building... couldn't even catch up with my breath n there i saw my fellow colleagues dreaming n smoking away in their own paradise...!! wad a sickening & maddening & irritating & annoying & ....... "wadeva is e word tt could describe it" ... view of e day... hiaz... thought of getting even with them but to find myself clever'er than before...... re-enact:
(while waiting for the tortoise'ed lift)
raymond: alright how should i get even with them?
raymond: hmmm... y not SHOOoo them out of their hiding place n lock up tt place & safekeep the keys... hmmm... hee'heee....
raymond: hmmm.... to tell sir about wad had happen? n sure enough sir will make sure nobody ever goes to tt hiding place again.... wahahaha!!
raymond: hey hey..! leave ur troubles to God for he will be your judge... wad u did to them are wad u did to God.! so wad will you choose to do.....
raymond:..................................

alright tt's for then... hiaz... found myself being e bhangla's bhangla ever since i receive my promotion.. wad a thing to get... ..! this is the deal, promotion = increment $20 + 20 tons of work..! how does it sounds like to yer?? -_-"

alright bhangla's bhangla tired... n thinking of more bhangla work to be thrown at me tml makes bhangla sick but knowing bhangla's God is overseeing all this gives bhangla's bhangla strength n joy... alright if bhangla's bhangla no sleep now, bhangla's bhangla head gets chop down tml!!

Here I Am @ 2/09/2006 10:21:00 PM

Sunday, December 25, 2005

helo(O.o)

OpPs my NeGLecTeD blog.....

ZoooOOOm......sWhhHHiiiiIIIISssh...... 10.....9.....8......7.....6.....5.....4.....3..... 2005 will be coming to an end soon again... hiaz... how fast could a year past? with a blink of an eye..!

sure enough alot had happened this year... lots of joy, lots of disappointments, lots of experience with God, lots of fear, lots of tears, & lots of thanksgiving... let's list 'em down?

Thanksgiving
- Thankful for God's leading in my final year of studies in Poly. though it had been ultimate stressful especially when nearing the deadline for project submissions n exams... but still managed to submit all the projects on time.. even tho had to do most of the proj on my own coz of proj partners who got debarred n partners who does nothing... but still God had not left me, he given me more knowledge to solve the programming errors and encouraging frenz around me to help me with all the projects and to teach me during the exams and even more the joy of the accompany of these frenz.. thanks for the results too! it is better than than any of the previous sem despite the tough time...

- Thankful for He is the God who provides for all my needs. during my last sem of studies i do not had to worry about my financial.. all was provided for and there was no delay... Thanks to those who had blessed me financially... may God bless u abundantly for the love you had shown to His son.

- Thankful for how God had blessed me with work. after graduating it had been a hard-time looking for job and also restricted by my enlistment i only have around 3-4 months before turning 'botak' so am rejected by numerous company, but still God's blessing are overflowing, Church's BASC had a vacant slot needed to be filled n there i am for the rest of my time till enlistment.. the experience working with childrens are great.. tho instead of training my patience i lose my patience faster than before ... :D

- Thankful for God's enlightenment about relationship. it had been a rough walk and a tough lesson learnt.... well maybe all this while had been searching n searching for someone to love me, but to no avail, i fell n fell everytime but still picked myself up again n searched again.... n fell again.... when we asked God for what we really wanted, God, out of love gave it to us... n well got into my 1st relationship on 13th of April, it was sweet and all words tt could describe LOVE... both of us tried hard to make our relationship work out well and also to be a God-centered relationship.. well all this din last... exactly 4 months later both of us broke up... out of Love God given me what i desired most but His heart desires me to seek him more than my worldly desires, he prompted both of us through a verse in the scripture that is Matt 6:33 "seek first his kingdom and righteousness and all these shall be given onto you" this verse kept appearing in both our life and spurred us to ponder over it... during June our church held a camp at Sentosa n the theme for the camp runs round BGR... after the camp both of us sat down to talk over our relationship n decided to slows down to know each other better.. n months later both our lives took a sharp turn she started her school term at ACCA and i got enlisted into army... communication breakdown surfaced... we seldom meet up n due to tiredness we dun talk on the phone.... committment level drops.... and that's where everything ends...... the ending? yup, could a relationship work well without commitment? i don't believe it... we sat down at our usual spot, tt's under her block ... till 1Am .... it ends with a soft 'goodbye' ....... sad? yes very.... angry? yes... Lost? yes.... depressed? yes... but still God gives hope to those who believes in him... everytime when i feel depressed, be it in camp or at night when memories flows into me, He never gives me another second to be in tears but immediately put his promises into me n granted me hope for tomorrow... God subtitutes himself for what i had lost... i began to realized that i m actually not ready for a relationship and that i shouldn't commit into a realtionship now and also learnt alot about Love n faith.. i m Thankful for how he bought me out of my darkest valley n protected me through out all these times... n knowing by faith that he will prepare the best for me.. "if both of us are really made for each other, till the day when we get back together, i believe by then we will know how to love each other more."

- Thankful for His protection during my NS. although i m excused on the upper limbs which means i do not need to do push ups but on the very first time my platoon got punishes i did not think much but did it anyway... reckless..? yup ... but give thanks to the Lord tt i did not dislocate my arms even when i reach my limits or even to push myself further..

- Thankful for His blessings during my NS. was blessed so abundantly in the many ways in which i can learn things about life n even to lead my man... though i had my temper out of control but i did not make enemies.. phew thankful about this ... and a reminder for myself..!

- Thankful for He lays a table before my enemies and I. when i was posted to my div days became BUSY for me and had to burnt up alot of weekends in camp or events... there was this incident when one of my colleagues actually called me on my day-off to tell me tt i m to be the casualty for one of the event on a sunday.. n he actually claimed tt he is calling from the pers dept, tt day was really terrible coz tt week was the only week which i could rest over the weekend n now i had it burnt? the nxt monday i was praying on my way to work hoping tt God would let miracles happen? n tt i would be taken off the casualty list.. while i reach office the guy whom i had been prayerfully wanted to meet pops up in front of me... another good guy by the good name Raymond... he appeared in front of me n i asked if he could take my name of the casualty list... and after a long conversation about me not having willingly changed with any other casualties ... it revealed the big plot which my dept mate had done on me... humph Raymond sent another e-mail to the whole div officers regarding the casualty list n with my colleague's name on it instead of mine.. Thank You Lord as i could have my weekend rest!

- ThankYou Lord for u Love my DAD... maybe this is the greatest Gift i could have received this year. 5 years, he had left that door and never returned, he just told me to 'take good care of mum'. this year early dec i finally took the courage to pray that i wanted him to be in the midst of us worshipping God. i have the courage but lacks in faith, it soons flows away with each passing day. on the 20th of dec at our ch prayer meet, while we were all praying for our family, my mind went blank of prayer, and i saw hand stretches out to hold my hand, n lead me to walk forward, i asked " where r u bringing me to?" and tt fig replied "Come, i want to show you my Kingdom." we walked pass a door and inside it i saw my Dad in the arms of my Lord Christ Jesus... 5 years ago when i first stepped into church my only wish then was to see my whole family worshipping our Father in Heaven.. the day after tt prayer mtg i was doing my standby duty in camp, that vision dawns upon me again, i took out my hp n composed a msg to meet up with my dad, after much thoughts i finally sent it. well he didn't reply... humph maybe was of my weak faith, i didn't really have the faith to believe that he will see me or reply my msg.. few days later, a sat morning as i was on my way to church my hp rang.. i answered and a familliar voice ran through my ear.. it surprised me, his voice feels my heart with warmness.. tho he said tt he can't meet me on the 26th which was his b'day but he would wanna meet me on another day.. i was really glad to hear tt.. we shared words of concern with each other n ends the call.. i m filled with joy, because of the concern i heard from him which tells me tt he still cares, because of how much the Lord loves him.. n much more the faith tt was strengthen in me.. i know tho whether or not he would receive Christ from me is not up to me but i do know that forgiving him is the first step to bring the message of Love into him.. the only Law that we lived on is "to Love your neighbours" neighbours = everyone around you, Love = "Love is patient, Love is Kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trust, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. ... " 1 Cor 13:4-8

Here I Am @ 12/25/2005 07:47:00 PM

Thursday, November 03, 2005

moRninG(0.0)

"Spanish Guitar"

A smoky room, a small cafe
They come to hear you play
And drink and dance the night away
I sit out in the crowd
And close my eyes
Dream you're mine
But you don't know
You don't even know that I am there

I wish that I was in your arms
Like that Spanish guitar
And you would play me through the night
'Till the dawn
I wish you'd hold me in your arms
Like that Spanish guitar
All night long, all night long
I'd be your song, I'd be your song

Steal my heart with every note you play
I pray you'll look my way
And hold me to your heart someday
I long to be the one that you caress with
tenderness
And you don't know
You don't even know that I exist

I wish that I was in your arms
Like that Spanish guitar
And you would play me through the night
'Till the dawn
I wish you'd hold me in your arms
Like that Spanish guitar
All night long, all night long
I'd be your song, I'd be your song

Te sientas entre la gente
Cierras tu ojos
Y suenas que soy tuyo
Pero yo no siquiera se que estas ahi
Me gustaria tenerte entre mis brazos amor

I sit out in the crowd
And close my eyes
Dream you're mine
And you don't know
You don't even know that I exist

I wish that I was in your arms
Like that Spanish guitar
And you would play me through the night
'Till the dawn
I wish you'd hold me in your arms
Like that Spanish guitar
All night long, all night long
I'd be your song, I'd be your song

hey hey... take a look at this pic... a image which i created... 'eye on thee' ...hmmm oki... i failed to make the eye standout... will try harder with doing superimposed images nxt time...

Here I Am @ 11/03/2005 10:12:00 AM